I was reminded recently of a sequence from the TV show Friends, where Chandler goes on a date with Rachel’s boss. He ends it with “Well this is great, we should do it again, I’ll give you a call” despite not enjoying himself or wanting a second date, or having any intention of calling her. Rachel calls him out on it and tells him he has to go on another date but end it...
What do your habits add up to? I’ve been talking a lot about building habits lately. In one sense it is one of the easiest things out there: pick the thing you’d like to make into a habit then do it, consistently. Yet forming helpful habits (or breaking unhelpful ones) can be one of the most difficult things to do. We have such inertia in our current existence. So much of what we do...
How many times today have you said “I know”? Or perhaps you just thought it to yourself, alongside an inward eye roll. The moment it happens is usually the moment we stop listening, the moment we stop seeking to understand, and the moment we stop being curious. We do it all the time. It’s a natural extension from the automatic system of our brain – designed both to protect us, but also to not...
I love getting things right. And I love being right. If I’m not careful, a decent part of my brain at any given time is taken up working out what the current rules are of whatever “game” or role I’m playing, and then striving to follow them, do it right, be perfect. Sound familiar to anyone? For a lot of high achievers, this is what we learned to do as we grew up, and...
As a high-achiever I’ve always been used to things coming pretty easily to me. Not having to practise very much, or having to ask for much help. If I apply my brain I can generally work things out, and more than that, be pretty good at it pretty fast. Even writing this, there’s a part of me thinking “wow, that’s arrogant, don’t say that” but the simple fact is it’s true. I’m almost certain...